I was having a group date with a number of ladies that I hold dear to my heart, and as our discussions shifted from trivials to really important things, we got talking about some deep things. When we got to the matter of choosing life partner, one of them asked me
“Bro Lekan, ah ah! I know you love us and all, that’s why you’ve been giving us these insights, but tell us now, what kind of guy do you see for us?”
I paused, looked at all of them sitted at the table with me and I answered them. It is this answer and more that I want to share with you.
Many women have made mistakes they are currently regretting , the same mistake many young ladies and teenagers too are making now. What is this common error? Choosing your life partner based on who you are now rather than who you have the capacity to become. Choices based on short-sighted views leave your life ‘short-circuited’! What do I mean? When you choose, don’t choose based on who you are now but on who you plan to be in the future. He can handle the little success you have now, can he handle your expanded dreams and visions?
So what kind of man should you submit your heart to? First, he has to be a Man that has God. A man that loves God and seriously pursues his relationship is a top priority. Only a man that knows the heart of God can find a lady whose heart is given to God.
This is important because the man should be the spiritual head of the home, he should be able to challenge you to seek God more.
He should be a man that is courtesy-conscious. A man that accords you all the courtesy you deserve as a lady, yet he doesn’t treat you as a weaker vessel. A man who handles you with care, not because he thinks you are fragile but because he knows you are priceless!
He should be a man of his own. He must be one who is not tossed to and fro by every wave. A man that is firm in making decisions yet flexible enough to reason with you. A man that is strong enough to stand on his own, yet expresses his need for you.
He should be a man with a destination, a destination that runs with your own destination. He should have dreams and aspiration that he is pursuing. He should have projections that he needs you to help accomplish, because you are his ‘helpmeet’. If there’s nothing to do, what will you help with?
He should be a man with godly value systems and is not ashamed of them. He should be proud of you at all times. He should be a man that has confidence in his own life purpose and pursuit and doesn’t feel threatened by your own success. He should believe in your dreams, and should be interested in helping you fulfil it.
He must be a man of integrity. He shouldn’t be so full of ego that he can’t admit his faults. He must be a man that loves excellence and spurs you on to do same.
He should be a man with a confident chest mixed with humble shoulders. He should be confident in his abilities and values. He should be proud of you enough to introduce to his close associates. He shouldn’t be a boastful man. He should be able to manage finance or humble enough to request help in managing his finance.
Finally(for now), he should love you for you. He should be straight enough to mention your weaknesses to you and help you with them.
He should be patient enough to put up with you till you grow out of it.
Now note that it is important that you discover who you are first before you hand over your heart to someone. There’s a reason why it is called ‘Life partner’. This is because you have to find your life and chart a course for it, before you consider a partner. Get a life before you get a partner!
This also will help filter guys that you know do not fit into your life away. Shikena! (The end)
Just incase you are wondering, isn’t this too serious? Yes it is serious, because giving your life over to another is a really serious matter. You are queen, only kings can properly take care of queens, hence, he has to be a king!
Relationships and marriages are big deals, its not a ‘let’s see how it goes journey’ it more of a ‘this is where we are going journey’. A ‘bad’ relationship or marriage can affect ones life forever, so its important that you make your choice as wisely as possible. Marriage is not fantasy, its reality!!!