Girls, watch each others back!

Hello to you, how are you doing today? I’ve been pondering over a matter for a while now among other things due to some recent occurrences so I have decided to share what I think about the matter. Allow me take you back in time.

We walked together to the church junction gisting about nothing in particular. I can’t remember clearly now but I think we were on our way to a rehearsal. While we waited at the junction, I saw for the first something that has I had never witnessed before. As we waited at the junction, a certain girl passed by my friend and I, and I saw the look on my friend as she passed. It was mix of ‘who do you think you are’ look with a ‘I’m better than you’ stare. I saw a look of disdain for this girl that did nothing wrong, except pass before us. I quickly took a second look at the passing girl to see if I had missed anything, I didn’t. She was a fine girl in a decent dress. So what was up? Did I tell you this friend is female? This incident lingered in my heart, why would a girl that has never met another one just develop a feeling of dissatisfaction for the other…

It became really disturbing when I experienced similar situations with other girls. Why don’t girls like girls? If you take a random sampling and ask 10girls what gender their best friends are, 8 of them will most likely say male, the issue is not really that it is male, the issue is their reason. Some of the common reasons include,
“Girls are gossips”
“Girls usually turn on themselves”
“Girls usually talk about irrelevances”
“Guys advice me more than the girls”
“Girls get jealous of each other easily”

In fairness to everyone who gives this excuse, they are actually true to an extent. However, I’m a personal believer in the fact that girls need to watch out for themselves. I believe that the world will be a better place if the ladies can be unified and put away being against each other. Many girls would have been saved from physical and emotional hurts if they had trustworthy female friends around them. We’ve heard stories of how female friends will team up with same guys to rape their friend, this is really disheartening!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong in having a male bestie but why is it hard to find a female bestie as a female. One of my reasons for this school of thought is because I believe that only a female can truly understand some things that pertain to the female. What do I mean? For example, I (as a guy) have seen some girls go through some really painful menstrual periods and I must say they are not pleasant sights at all. I offer my sympathy and whatever help I could render, but the truth is only a girl can truly understand and help another sister when she is acting very touchy during this period, the regular guy would pass her ‘touchiness’ as being insolent or being proud or other adjectives that the mood could be mistaken for.

You walk into shopping mall or if you have been privileged to watch any of this shopping reality shows where a girl deliberately bad-mouths a dress another girl is wearing so that she can go back to buy that dress!

It becomes even painful when I see or hear about two friends fighting over a guy. You know, what really goes on in my head is ‘why can’t they calm down and discipline the guy together for making a fool of femininity?’. The guy just stands by and watch as they make a fool of themselves after which he leaves the both of them and moves on with another gullible girl( an old friend of mine once did it when we were much younger).

What am I saying? Girls love yourself! Appreciate the other girl without thinking ‘why should I make her feel fly?’. Don’t be so defensive when another lady appreciates your beauty because you are thinking she was saying it just to spite you. You complain about not having a really ‘make-sense’ female friend, why not be the model of femininity you want to see?

Be the one to appreciate others without any hidden agenda, be the one to correct another lady’s dressing without saying it with that look of disgust. Choose not to join your male friends to laugh at that girl that doesn’t have a clue about colour combination. Instead of joining them in calling her ‘rainbow’, why not offer free,loving advice or shut the mouth of your male friends up. Why not develop yourself and be that girl that beyond fashion and boys she is full of creative ideas and discussions. Why not be that girl that can be trusted to keep a sealed lips.

Proverbs 18:24 reads “A man who has friends must himself be friendly; But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

I was at a shop sometime ago and the sight before me was a shock! The kind of makeup a lady I met there had on made her look like her face was the drawing book of a six year old practising with water colour. What baffled me was why her friend, the shop-owner who had a more subtle make-up on her own face didn’t offer to help her friend(well maybe she did).

Ladies, what I am saying is love each other. Stop the tearing apart. You need to watch each others back! Because if you don’t take care of yourselves, who will?

Or what do you think?


10 thoughts on “Girls, watch each others back!

  1. The matter is complicated jare. Somehow its like we don’t just gel. Some of us have nothing against girl-girl beautiful friendships, I personally like when I see two ‘true’ female friends,it just doesn’t happen for me. Most times I prefer ‘big sisters’ to ‘girlfriends’ and I don’t think I have a specific reason for that, its just like that. Girls have issues jare, not easy to find girls who don’t.

    1. Thanks Omowunmi for the candid comment. Thanks for reading too.
      ‘Girls have issues jare’ is a phrase I have heard over and over. Can’t some ladies choose to change this?

  2. i personally think it will be nice 4 girls 2 have girl friends. cus most of d guys they surround demselves with are guys dat will want 2 take advantage of dem at d slightest opportunity. i think d reason y girls dont have girlfriends is pride. an average girl will want 2 have more grounds than d next and gain more attention by others dan d next so its like they r in a competition. so d solutiion is swallow ur pride and love yourselves.

  3. This is really beautiful sir, thank God i learnt about that from bible study. I used to be one of those girls and even worse, now i know better. More grace sir!

  4. I think there are some things only a female like you can understand.Personally I have a lot of male friends but I don’t know what I’d do without my bestie and she’s one amazing girl.I think the thing is getting to know each other properly. Girls can be just as pleasant as guys.

  5. Oh wow. First, this is beautiful! Well done. The thing with girl girl relationships, I’m not so sure I can categorically pin point. But as a girl, I can say point blank that a good girlie bestie is the best, I’ve had close male friends before (still do) but as a girl, if you find a good girlfriend, she would beat any guy friend anytime any day because, sometimes, you just need a girl there, a girl _ girl connection. Some people say, girls are gossips and all that, yeah, might be true but most of the people that say that are girls too and you probable have the same traits, why not team up with a girl and help each other out. Overall having close male friends, whether we choose to admit it or not, comes with a lot of emotional entanglement, should I hug or not hug him wahala and stuff like that. To my ladies, look past all the judgemental sentiment, there are good girls out there, just like you and I so let’s stay together.
    Thanks once again Sir for such a lovely peice. Good bless😊

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