Pt 2. Tears That Pays- 5 Prices of Purity | by Mrs Esther Omoniyi

Continued from the last post

I have 5 prices of purity to share with you

Price 1: Make a decision and value the goal
Price 2: You may have to stand alone
Price 3: Be ready to lose all ungodly relationships
Price 4: You must learn contentment
Price 5: Surround yourself with people who are on the same mission as you

Price 1: Make a decision and value the goal

I discovered that the major challenge ladies face which propel them to give up their stand for SEXUAL PURITY is FAILURE TO COUNT THE COST AND VALUE THE GOAL.

There is a PRICE you have to pay for every PRIZE

Just as there are sacrifices/prices a GOOD STUDENT will pay to achieve an outstanding academic excellence likewise there is a price you will pay to hold tight to your COMMITMENT to obey God’s commandment for PURITY.

I remembered making a decision while going to the University to graduate with second class upper class(2.1), this was not delivered into my palms on a platter of gold. I had to pay the price.

This included doing extra-class, cut off parties/clubbing, buy textbooks/ handouts, attend most lectures, read and study hard, stay awake while others were sleeping to read, spend my leisure time reasonably, selected my friends with like passion, maintained my relationship with Christ and prayers being persuaded that He alone gives GOOD SUCCESS.

It is good and very laudable a lady make a commitment to God to stand out in this sexually polluted generation.

The value of sexual purity

1.You will preserve your hour of dignity, integrity and eternity
3.You will save yourself from heartaches of broken relationship. Losing your relationship becomes more painful if you are spent in the process
4.You keep yourself from contacting STDs. Sexually Tranmitted Diseases e.g Staphilococus, gonorrhea,syphillis, vaginal infections, HIV, AIDS e.t.c
5. Unplanned pregnancies
6. You save yourself from pains of abortion, pain of regret.
7.You find happiness and peace at the end on your wedding night
8. Above all you have the smile of God. God will be very proud to be called your God. You will make Him so happy because you obey His commandment
9.You have a part in God’s kingdom as His saint. etc

Price 2: You may have to stand alone

My hall mates are very funny and interesting people, never a dull moment with them in the house. They all have everything in common excluding me whom they treated like mummy’s baby.

They are all socialites, love clubbing, partying and always returned to the hall after each weekend not only with tales of their sexual escapade with men but with money, clothing and shoes as gifts from their man friends.
On several occasion they would make jest of me calling me funny names like”virgin mary” “mother of Jesus” Mother of church and the likes. I was always the only one in our hall most weekend. I would either go to church for prep and rehearsal or go to my boyfriend’s hall.

I was advised countless times to have sex with my boyfriend since he promised to marry me but I didn’t yield to their advise. They would ridiculed me yet I would not bother.

“Standing alone” means that we fully represent God’s way, especially, when others fail to do so”

Too many Christians have a commitment of convenience. They’ll stay faithful as long as it’s safe and doesn’t involve risk, rejection, or criticism. Instead of standing alone in the face of challenge or temptation, they check to see which way their friends are going.

One with God is a majority!
God honors people who love Him and stand out for Him
Dare to be different
Stand for holiness

“All my friends are all doing it” is not an excuse before God
“I don’t want to be the odd out” is not a good reason to join the immoral generation
we will separately stand before Jesus Christ to give an answer for ourselves. Romans 14:10, 12

Elijah stood for God in . 1 Kings 18. against 450 prophets of Baal yet his faith and love for God was unflinching.

I have a friend who has a covenant of purity with God. She said in her profile that “even if i remain the only one standing for God in purity, i will stand till the end”. Wow!
The Bible is filled with examples of strong and courageous men, women, and young people standing alone in faith.

Stand by your commitment

Price 3: Be ready to lose all UNGODLY relationships

After I gave my life to Christ, I made a decision to keep my body till marriage.

The journey started…

I was dumped a number of times because I refused to have premarital sex.

I received a phone call sometime ago from a brother who said he is 30 years old and a virgin. He complained about how sisters(sure not born again) dumped him because he refused to fornicate.

This is a pointer to the fact that some sisters are the ones seducing brothers to have sex.

Standing in holiness will make you lose some relationship but definitely all wrong relationships. Whoever jilt you because you refuse to FORNICATE is not meant to stay in your life.

“Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t respect your body and appreciate you for whom you are is actually a gain, not a loss”

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” – Denis Waitley

“Some of us think that holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it’s letting go.” – Herman Hesse

“Don’t allow someone not worth it to have the power to occupy your thoughts. If they don’t find you worth the effort or the time, why should you waste yours?” – Donna Lynn Hope

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” – Walter Anderson

Most times when we are jilted by someone we love, we tend to be so sad and angry with God.
Especially if it is as a result of our stand for PURITY

Beloved if you are determined to stand out for God in this generation please prepare your mind that you will lose all your wrong relationships along the way.

You might shed some tears but sooner you will realize they do not worth your tears after all.

He claimed he is a christian and the relationship kicks off…I didn’t wait on God, pray to know if it is His will before starting …few Months after he started kissing and caressing your body, hunting for sex….I refused and on my next visit to his house right there wrapped in the arms of another lady is my brother-in-Christ who professed love to me.

With tears on my face I rush to my house…jumped on my bed and wouldn’t talk to anyone. He left me for another lady because I refused to fornicate.

I sure hope you understand my point now.

It happened to me.

I passed through it all, not once not twice. Till my husband, a lover of God, came on the scene. Smile

I learnt that some people are not just meant to be in my journey for they are unprofitable for my destiny

If he is leaving you because of sex then he sees no other good thing in you than a sex, if you worth more in his eyes he will stay for life.

Price 4: You must learn contentment

There is an adage that says you must give what you have to get what you want. This adage doesn’t follow your purity matter. You can’t exchange your body for material gain. Many students wish they can abstain form fornication till marriage but their greedy desire for things that fade robbed them of their pride.

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13;5 ESV

And he Jesus said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

You must learn to be contented with that which you have. Make do with your pocket money/allowance/salary.
“Watch your appetite, if you drain a man at the eatery he will have no choice than to expect a pay back on the bed”.
Some ungodly men see sex as a payback for their generosity to ladies.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4;19

Don’t drain men! don’t be a parasite to them simply because you have made a commitment to keep your body from fornication. Don’t ever think you have nothing to lose. Some ungodly men are rapists.

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need”. Philippians 4:11-12

It is not an over-statement to say that some ladies gave up their body because of money to buy latest cloth, shoes, bags, jewelries, cosmetics, phones e.t.c.

A particular married man (who happened to be my first boss after my High School) promised to build me a duplex, send me to school and take care of all my needs if only I can date him. He tried enticing me with junk foods and drinks, complained daily about my dressing to make me crave for his help all to no impact. Jesus kept me! Love lifted me. I made do with my little salary and all that my mum could provide for me while in school.

Years later I attempt dating a brother I do not love because he is rich but along the line I discovered he was only after my body.
Birds of a feather flocks together. One needs comfort, one needs lust. Laughs

As much as I tried to make him spend money on me, he keeps inviting me to his house. To come and do what?
Our motive was not right towards each other so I backed off knowing I am the one carrying a diamond. Laughs. so my beloved, learn contentment.

The love of clothing made Gehazi missed his destiny 2. Kings 5:20-27

You must learn to be contented with what you have.

A time of surplus is on its way
Clothes will fade
Shoes will get old
Phones will be outdated
Your innocence can never be replaced

You are priceless
Don’t be like Esau who sold off his birthright for a morsel of bread.
You worth more.

Price 5: Surround yourself with people who are on the same mission as you

There’s an old, well known story of a chicken farmer who found an eagle’s egg.
He put it with his chickens and soon the egg hatched.
The young eagle grew up with all the other chickens and whatever they did, the eagle did too. He thought he was a chicken, just like them.
Since the chickens could only fly for a short distance, the eagle also learnt to fly a short distance.
He thought that was what he was supposed to do. So that was all that he thought he could do. As a consequence, that was all he was able to do.
One day the eagle saw a bird flying high above him. He was very impressed. “Who is that?” he asked the hens around him.
“That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” the hens told him. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth, we are just chickens.”
“The eagle among the chickens grew up and lived like a chicken”

“I am a friend to everyone who fears you and to everyone who follows your guiding principles. Psalms 119:63

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 22:24-25,27:5-6, 17,12:26,13:20 1 Corinthians 15:33

No doubt that our fundamental beliefs and attitude are greatly influenced by the people we allowed into our lives.

Being around the wrong people would probably tempt you to do the wrong thing. Evaluate whether spending time with those people lifts or drag you down. Select people who are heading towards your direction or goals. Show me your friends and i will show you your future.

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of wise people” C.W Lewis

Actually life is give and take and likes attracts likes. Life is not all about what you get but what you give another person to make his/her life meaningful; however, you must be spiritually strong before you can spend the whole of your time with the pigs without getting dirty.

If you hang around with lesbians, gay, fornicators, adulterers, prostitutes e.t.c. you are likely to exhibit their behavior. Surround yourself with people who are going your direction ,people who are determined to stand out for God in Holiness in this morally decayed generation.

Blessed is the man that walk not in the counsel of the ungodly….Psalms 1:1


One funny morning like that, I got a message from a lady asking “…Ma I want to know if you were having sexual urges as a virgin single”
I laughed so hard and rushed to gist my husband.
This question is not stupid it’s just that waking up to read such a message in the morning gave me a good laugh.

Sexual feelings/ urge will always be there.

There’s a natural urge which happens without you igniting it and there’s the raging urge when you feed yourself with erotic stuffs.
When I was a single, My uncle thought I have become so spiritual to the extent that I wasn’t having sexual urges.

How can you stay a virgin till your 30s if you are not some kind of goddess.

Don’t mind my uncle. In fact, he jokingly told me that I would need to go do deliverance before my wedding to awake my hormones.

That was not true.

I did feel “good” in my body but the Holy Spirit taught me to not entertain it.
Especially during my ovulation period, (ladies will understand and brothers too feel “good” at/during the night or early mornings) I did feel “good”
There were times I would wake up in the morning and had to quickly rush out of bed, have cold bath singing and shouting, distracting my cravings, I get busy till the “beautiful feelings” disappear
I speak in tongues but I wasn’t a wood. Smiling

I didn’t feed the cravings with cool music, R & B, you know that R. Kelly song “if I can just turn back the hands of time ”
No erotic movies or novels.
I spiritualized my eyes and ears.
Did I eventually go for sexual-reactivation when I got married? Nothing like that.
I can’t explain how it happened during my courtship, I still had “beautiful feeling “. There were times I would hug him and wouldn’t want to let go likewise himself. At Such times “either of us” would “make a cough sound ” for “CAUTION”

Few Months to my wedding I and my husband agreed I should stop visiting him in his house to avoid story that touches the heart
We spent most of our free time together with my family. It was fun.

To keep your courtship pure, you must take some steps. No sleeping over, dress well but not seductively to “kill” him

Suspend your sex talk together until your marriage is in view. Avoid phone sex conversation

Kissing is not “manageable”

Some of you are belling the cat saying “No sex but we can kiss and romance”

Kissing is a chain of hundreds of other activities.
What does your hands do while you are kissing? Touching, caressing, smooching privates, fondling breast, etc

Don’t ignite the passion.

“You may kiss your bride” is a sign of union! It means a union is initiated and you can now begin to explore each others body.

Outside of marriage, No kissing!

It was beautiful to have our first kiss before our wedding guests. People were clapping and cheering us on. I imagine God shaking His head and saying “That’s right”

When next you feel that “urge”, celebrate God because your sexual hormones are working well! Yes! Engage yourself in good activities.

If your case has degenerated into MASTURBATION you need to open up now! You can overcome it in Jesus name. Don’t die in silence.

Sexual urge is not a sin but what you do WITH IT determines if you have sinned or not.

“Walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the LUST OF THE FLESH” Galatians 5:16
You can do it!

Total purity is achievable.

Purity pledge: 1 Thessalonians 4:3

Personalize it.

This is the will of God, my sanctification, that I, Esther Omoniyi must abstain from fornication and all sexual sins


It is an immoral acts of stimulating your privates by yourself to get sexual satisfaction. If you are masturbating, you need to open up to someone who can help you walk through it

Openness is the first step to your healing

Secondly, you need Jesus.
The Holy Spirit gives you the grace for self control
Whatever you stop feeding will die

Your inner man needs the word of God

When you constantly feed your spirit, you will outgrow evil desires
When you watch erotic scenes in movies, it is like a pornography
If you don’t check yourself, you will get to a point of arousal
Select the movies you watch
As a matter of fact, if those stuffs doesn’t disgust our spirit, there’s a question mark on our purity
I’m married, yet I don’t watch just any movie

Thirdly, if you are masturbating, check what do trigger your sexual urge
Erotic movies?
Romantic novels?
Romantic phone conversations?

When you find it out, stop the act
Avoid the zones
If you feed your flesh, you will fall into immorality

Mrs Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi is a Minstrel and a teacher of the word of God. She speaks in schools, churches, and conferences. Her passion is in the areas of Sexual Purity, Purposeful living, Godly Relationships & Marriage, and Spiritual Maturity.

Along with her husband, Omoniyi Temitope Mayowa, she coordinates Threshing House Missions and lead District Generation Team. They reside in Shagamu, Ogun State as full time missionaries. 

Mrs Esther was our guest on our active WhatsApp Group of over 250 ladies. She was able to manage two nights (10th and 11th January ’17) with us, and we were really blessed. The first part was shared yesterday

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